"I don't have time for self-care." If you're a single parent, you've probably said this more times than you can count. Between work, parenting, household management, and everything else on your plate, the idea of taking time for yourself can feel impossible—or even selfish.
But here's the truth: self-care isn't selfish. It's essential. When you're running on empty, you can't give your best to your children, your work, or anyone else who depends on you. Self-care isn't about bubble baths and spa days (though those are nice too)—it's about small, intentional actions that help you recharge and show up as the parent you want to be.
Let's Bust Some Self-Care Myths
Myth: Self-care is selfish
Self-care makes you a better parent by preventing burnout and modeling healthy habits for your children.
Myth: I don't have time for self-care
Self-care can happen in 2-minute increments throughout your day. It's about quality, not quantity.
Myth: Self-care is expensive
The most effective self-care activities are often free: deep breathing, walking, calling a friend.
Myth: Self-care means spa days
Self-care is anything that helps you recharge: reading, exercising, saying no to commitments.
Daily Self-Care in Minutes, Not Hours
Self-care doesn't require hours of free time. These micro-moments of self-care can fit into even the busiest days:
- 1.Sit quietly before the kids wake up
- 2.Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes
- 3.Set a positive intention for the day
- 4.Use a meditation app if helpful
- 1.Take 5 deep breaths
- 2.Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment
- 3.Apply hand cream mindfully
- 4.Remind yourself: 'I'm doing my best'
- 1.Sit in your car after errands
- 2.Play your favorite song
- 3.Take deep breaths
- 4.Enjoy the quiet before going inside
- 1.Read a few pages of a book you enjoy
- 2.Keep it light and positive
- 3.No parenting or self-help books
- 4.Let yourself escape for a few minutes
Weekly Self-Care Activities
Aim to incorporate one or two of these activities into your week. They provide deeper restoration and help prevent burnout:
Benefits:
Benefits:
Benefits:
Benefits:
Monthly Self-Care Treats
Once a month, try to do something special for yourself. If budget is tight, the alternatives work just as well:
Treat muscle tension and stress
Budget Alternative:
Self-massage with tennis ball
Feel refreshed and pampered
Budget Alternative:
At-home hair mask and styling
Enjoy entertainment without interruption
Budget Alternative:
Home movie with favorite snacks
Full relaxation and pampering experience
Budget Alternative:
DIY face mask and bath
Emergency Self-Care Kit
For those moments when you're at your breaking point, here are immediate strategies to help you reset:
Immediate Actions (Right Now):
- •Take 10 deep breaths
- •Step outside for fresh air
- •Drink a glass of water
Follow-up Plan:
Schedule 30 minutes of alone time this week
Immediate Actions (Right Now):
- •Progressive muscle relaxation
- •Write down tomorrow's worries
- •Listen to calming music
Follow-up Plan:
Evaluate your sleep routine and make one improvement
Immediate Actions (Right Now):
- •Text a friend
- •Join an online parent group
- •Go somewhere with people (coffee shop, park)
Follow-up Plan:
Plan a social activity for this week
Immediate Actions (Right Now):
- •Count to 10
- •Take a timeout in another room
- •Do jumping jacks or push-ups
Follow-up Plan:
Identify what triggered the anger and make a plan
Start Small
- • Choose one daily micro-moment
- • Add one weekly activity
- • Build habits gradually
- • Don't aim for perfection
Get Support
- • Trade childcare with other parents
- • Ask family for help
- • Join single parent groups
- • Use community resources
Remember:
Self-care isn't about being perfect or doing everything on this list. It's about recognizing that your well-being matters and taking small steps to nurture yourself. Your children need a parent who is healthy, happy, and present—and that starts with taking care of yourself.